hospital update, day 2

Sorry it is so late for todays update. Today has been a long and emotional day. Not that we have much news to report, but I think it is all just starting to sink in that we are really going through this again. I did have another ultrasound this morning and the baby looked better. His dopplers were actually a little better than yesterday so we were happy to see that! I have been on the baby heartrate monitor all day and he seems to be doing good. Lots of movement and heartrate within normal limits. I will have another ultrasound in the morning and if the baby is still looking okay than we think we will have another day. They are being cautious and I am not allowed to have any food or drink after midnight tonight in case we do need to go forward with the c-section tomorrow. If the baby gives us any concern in the u/s than we will do the c-section at noon, 48 hours after I got my first steroid shot. Because todays news was positive, I can't help but think that tomorrow will be good too...all we can do is stay positive and keep praying.

The early morning was a little rough for me today. My room is right outside the nurses station so I heard a lot of noise all night (despite the Ambien they gave me, how is that possible?). For the past few weeks the little guy has been up like clockwork at 7:00am and moves around like crazy for about 20-30 minutes. I usually just lay in bed and enjoy the moment. I didn't think much of it at first and then I realized that this may be one of the last mornings that I will feel him moving around inside of me...our special little time together. Luckily, the good news at the u/s helped to cheer me up. Eric came by after he dropped Charlie off at preschool. He is being so strong and helpful as I am stuck in this bed. I know it is hard for him because he wants to be here with me, but he needs to take care of Charlie and also all the other daily responsibilities that cannot be ignored for too long. Eric's mom and my mom took Charlie for the afternoon so it was nice to have some time alone with Eric as we embark on this journey again together. The NICU has been completely expanded and remodeled since we were here last time. They asked if we would like to take the tour so we would be prepared for when the baby came. Boy, I was not prepared for that. As she took us around and showed us all the familiar equipment I got very sad. I thought I was ready for this, but I guess I am not as strong as I thought I was. All the monitors, the smells, the sounds, it was all a little bit too overwhelming. When we got back to my room I asked Eric how he was doing and he felt the exact same way as I did. I think we both felt a little bit better after talking about it, but I still get emotional thinking about it again. I keep reminding myself that the Lord is not going to give us anymore than we can handle. This baby is perfectly and wonderfully made and he is going to be exactly who he is supposed to be despite all my preconceived expectations.

Charlie seems to be handling everything pretty well. He has been such a light around this hospital. I know that my heart smiles when he walks through the door each visit. All the nurses love him and get very excited when he comes around. He actually achieved a very special milestone in his class today. Once the kids know all their letters, the sounds they make, the 5 vowels and the 2 sounds that each of the vowels make they go to the headmasters office to recite it all to her. If they can do it they receive an Alphabet Crown. He looked so cute marching in today very pround of his crown and happy that Miss Karen had time to see him today. (He was supposed to do it on Tuesday but Miss Karen got too busy - he was very perturbed that she was too busy for him, how dare her, right?) Of course our camera battery was dead this morning so Eric could not take any pictues but I hope we will be able to take some pictures in his crown in the next few days. He just looks too cute in it to pass that up.

I have received many wonderful and caring e-mails today and I just want to say thank-you to each and every one of you that are praying for us. Our hearts are overflowing by all the love and support that we have received from our friends and family. Thank-you times a million. :)

If I do not get rushed off to surgery in the morning I will be sure to post an update of how the ultrasound goes tomorrow! Good night.