one year ago.....

This same week last year was one of the worst weeks of my life. I was in the hospital waiting to see what was going to happen with the baby inside of me, we sold our home and Eric had lost his job. All in one week. To say that I felt as if my world was falling in on me is an understatement. I wondered how this could all be happening at once, but I really couldn't worry about it. I had one focus and that was Cannon. He saved me during this time. As we said good-bye to a home that we loved, the home that I thought we would raise our kids in, my mind stayed focused on Cannon. And when Eric lost his job and it became clear very quickly that he was not going to get a comparable job anytime soon, I had to fight for Cannon. If I could change things for him, how his life began, I would do it in a second but since that is not going to happen, I feel blessed that I had him to help me keep things in perspective. There were many days that I wanted to feel sorry for myself or wanted to just give up, but I couldn't because he needed me.

This past year has been hard. I still miss our house. Eric did get another job pretty quickly, but it pays about half of what he used to make. We have made a lot of changes to our lifestyle and we have tried to figure out what is really important. I guess I am sharing this because I have been surprisingly emotional this week. I have thought a lot about that night as I laid in the hospital bed, knowing that it was probably going to be the last night I was going to pregnant. It was the last night I was ever going to feel a baby kicking and rolling around inside of me. And now, that little peanut is turning one tomorrow. He is healthy and he is happy. That has made it all worth it. That is all we could have ever asked for and we are so thankful.